Lyvonne Proverbs - The Sex Positive Pastor (Copy) (Copy)
Lyvonne Proverbs - The Sex Positive Pastor
Lyvonne Proverbs, MDiv, a New York City native, is a body and sex-positive pastor, transformational speaker, spiritual life coach, writer, educator, and conscious creative social entrepreneur. An Emmy Award-winning media producer, Lyvonne is also the founder of beautiful scars, an online storytelling agency focused on trauma, healing, and resiliency. Her unconventional ministry of integrating sexuality with spirituality has been featured in ESSENCE, Cosmopolitan, and The Washington Post magazines and Sojourners named her one of “11 Women Shaping the Church” in March 2019.
What is your definition of freedom? What does it look and feel like to you? And how do you cultivate it daily? 89
Nina Simone said, “I’ll tell you what freedom is to me: no fear!” And Black women deserve to feel (and be!) free in our bodies. It feels like cultivating our own expression of the “pleasure principle.” I ask myself multiple times a day, “what would bring me joy right now?” Maybe it’s an invigorating yoga practice or an intense bootcamp class. Or a restorative nap or a hilarious episode of black-ish. Whatever it is that your body needs in that moment, is precisely what your spirit needs, as well.
How have your thoughts, perception, and understanding of freedom evolved with time? What was it before and what is it now? 100
I once believed that my body was shameful and that, due to *trigger warning: sexual assault* childhood sexual abuse, my sexuality was a curse. I now know that my sexuality is a gift from God.
Embracing ancient West African spirituality has been tremendous for my own healing journey. In Yoruba belief systems, there is no demarcation between the sacred and the secular; and both masculine and feminine energy are revered. In a racist, sexist world, the reactivation of sacred divine feminine energy is resistance. And it is this new African womanist spiritual work that will heal and liberate Black women.
Freedom can feel like something we’re all seeking, but may have trouble grasping. What's one piece of advice or some words of wisdom you can offer to this community as they look to "get free"? 100
I don’t know many Black women whose lives have not been influenced by the Black Church. Releasing religious and cultural shame around our bodies (and what they do naturally) is going to set a lot of us free.
If you were told that your body is evil or your sexuality and who you choose to express it with is demonic, know that you are created in the image and likeness of God. Your body is sacred and the Divine cares about what happens to her. And since your body is holy, that means you can love God and love sex.
Share an anecdote, memory, or practice in your life that embodies freedom in every way.
As a body and sex-positive pastor, I am a Black woman spiritual leader who is no longer at war with her body. Masturbation has been that march to freedom. Self-pleasure demonstrates that I am in deep alignment with my desire and erotic power in ways that are satisfactory for me. God is a God of love, light, and liberation. And I know God created pleasure, because God created the clitoris. The clitoris is the only organ on ANY person that is devoted to pleasure. And if our bodies are made to experience utter bliss, then surely our spirits are, too!
1. As both a pastor and a woman with her own sexual trauma, how has your spiritual relationship guided your path to freedom? When did you begin to feel at home within self and what advice would you give to other women looking to do the same?
Womanist theology saved my life. Learning God-talk that centered Black women was like inheriting a new, liberative faith. Interrogating my religious tradition through the lens of Black womanhood led me to embrace my African-centeredness (and shapeliness!). I prayed to see myself the way the Divine sees me and started lavishly loving my body. I would look in the mirror every single day and affirm every part of my being until I internalized my beauty. From massaging in luscious oils post-shower to purging your closet of clothes that don’t make you feel regal, you should endeavor to consistently revere your body.
2. What is one song that helps you get free?
Oh, this is so hard! But, in this season, “The Waves We Give” by Beautiful Chorus is LIFE:
“Be like water, my friend.
You shall find a way around, or through it.
When nothing within us stays rigid,
We decide the shape we’re in.”
This song reminds us to spiritually (and literally) go with the flow. We are like water. We “can flow or [we] can crash.” YOU decide. The choice is yours. You have agency, power, and control. Release your grip and there you will find flow, ease, and freedom.
3. What is one book that has helped you claim your freedom?
Sexuality and the Black Church: A Womanist Perspective is like a second bible for me. For me, it is a sacred text that takes a socio-historical view of this religious institution that has both helped and harmed many. Rev. Dr. Kelly Brown Douglas unleashed my capacity to integrate my sexuality with my spirituality by connecting me to my lineage, reminding me of my heritage, and challenging me to release the belief systems that are steeped in patriarchy, misogyny, racism, white supremacy, purity culture, and, certainly, no longer serve me.